Friday, May 27, 2011

Aint that a bitch!

You know I have many rolls in my household as I'm sure many of you do as well.  Short order cook, maid, mom, taxi, and now I can also add secretary to the list.  A couple of weeks ago the hubby which will now be referred to as fat bastard because I'm pissed off asked me to make him a doctors appointment.  OK fine I did that, and then last week the paperwork comes in and guess who gets to fill all that shit out......not him.  So yesterday he goes, well he needs blood work done so he says didn't I get a letter that I was suppose to use another lab?  I say yes, but the lab slip he gets is for an entirely different place.  I say I don't know if the insurance will pick it up if you go there.  He says well you need to call and find out.  UGH, NO!  First of all I don't know who to fucking call and second of all I'm not your personal secretary.  "FINE I'LL DO IT MYSELF"  As you should have done in the first place ASSHOLE!  Then it didn't end there, I decided I had enough of his attitude after dinner and went to my room to watch TV.  He comes up around 9 and says ugh, you didn't plug in my phone?  WHAT?  Are you fucking kidding me?  I just updated it for you, unplugged it from the computer and set it on the counter to put the boy in the shower......SORRY, I must of forgot.  JESUS, then starts the cryptic talk.  He says everyone is just so indecisive.  I say who are you pissed at now.  ugh, never mind good night.  Whatever, I guess I need a fucking crystal ball to know what your talking about.  So this morning he wakes me up 10 minutes late, then acts snotty when I say how come you didn't get up?  His response is OH, I can see your going to drag this into today.  I simply say FUCK YOU and go downstairs.  Lets see what tonight brings......yay me!

Last weekend I decided to get some sun and I took my chair and a book and sat outside for a couple hours.  What I didn't realize was I was wearing Capri's and my shines burnt.  So I had a nice start to a farmer tan from the knee down.  Sunday fat bastard says why don't you put on your bathing suit and try to fill some in.  Yeah that sounds like a plan.  Well now the whole front of me is burnt and I have a nice blister on my lip from it.  Good idea dip shit.  But then again I thought it was too.  So at least this morning I could finally turn the water hot enough so that it didn't burn the whole front part of me.  It's the little things that make me happy ya know.

Camping next weekend!  YAY, excited for that, and to get the hell out of here for a couple of days.

I hope everyone has a nice 3 dayer, and if you have nice weather good for you cause ours is going to suck as usual.!

Monday, May 23, 2011

Paul Blart

The hubby has gotten his ass into some real hot water last week at work.  I guess last Wednesday while he and his buddy were driving to work they encountered some guy on a motorcycle who cut them off.  His buddy flashed his lights at him and flipped him off.  The guy pulls up along side of them and sticks out his chest to show them his badge, and motions for them to pull over.  Keep in mind this guy was on an old man on a gold wing motorcycle.  So they notice when they stop at a light and the guy pulls up next to them that he in fact is NOT a cop but some security guy thinking pointing at his mall cop badge on his jacket will scare them off.  OOOHHH NO,  so the screaming like little children commences between the three of them.  Also keep in mind they are in a company truck with the name and number all over the damn thing.  They are not the brightest crayons in the box I tell you.  So the hubby jumps out and yells "your nothing but an $8.00 an hour paul blart mall cop", snaps his picture and runs back to the truck, where paul blart commences to yell "your momma" and "you suck cocks for a living" back at them.  So the hubby posts the picture on facebook with the story, and you can imagine all the comments.  So they finally call the cops to say this guy is impersonating a cop.  They took a report blah blah blah, so at the end of the day the guy shows up at the office, with his wife (I guess he needed back up) and is looking for the owner.  Fortunately he wasn't there, but the guy took his card and started emailing him non stop.  The emails say that her cant get the image of my hubby out of his mind, it's burned in his brain and he needs compensation.  Yep, you read that right, he wants money.  Then goes on to say my hubby made terrorist threats to him.  When I heard this I was like, "are you threatening to blow people up again?"  Anyways morel of the story is don't pick fights with people when your in a marked vehicle which seriously I thought he was a little smarter then that......I guess not.  And when the boss heard this his fell out of his chair laughing until the guy starts asking for money, now he's pissed.  Another moral lesson don't bite the hand that feed you and your family.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Happy Hump Day....Or Not!

Yes it's Wednesday, and all I have to say about that is BOO!  Last weekend I suggested to the hubby that we should hit Costco because I needed some green beans.  I had some left over frozen ham and the bone from Easter so I thought I would attempt to try and make my grandmas green beans and ham for dinner.  I heard Costco had 2 lb bags so I figured I would get them there.  The moment I mention Costco, it's like I said biscuit to the dog.  Ears perk up and tail starts wagging.  I honestly should have just went myself, it would have been cheaper.  So while were there, he says well how much money do you have?  I say I said I have about $200.00 left from my check and I will buy groceries this week (we keep separate accounts).  So he says well since were here we should get some stuff for camping.  UGH!  Fine!  Well $300.00 later and an additional $78.00 at wal mart, I'm fucking broke.  I usually low ball him when he asks how much money I have because I will need gas and other things until next paycheck.  So now I'm fucked for the next two weeks.  And guess who will be filling up my tank.

So the boy has a double header on Saturday.  And it's suppose to rain.  Lucky me!  I tell you my weekends have just been flying by with all the baseball and really having no time to do nothing.  I cant wait till our camping trip in a couple of weeks.  Hopefully the weather will be better, like actually warm and not raining.  Hell we got snow last night up on the hill.  I cant wait to sit my ass in my new chair on the beach with a book and some well deserved foo foo drinks. 

So we got new copiers at work a couple of weeks ago and I swear the people around here think I work for Xerox.  Whats wrong with this, how come this doesn't work?  I don't FUCKING KNOW!  And I really don't care.  I was ready to dump a glass of water in the stupid machine hoping it would blow the fuck up yesterday, but I called the fix it guy instead and I'm sure it still isn't working properly.  Then the boss lady informed me that the postage machine was due for an upgrade.  I politely said no, if it ain't broke, lets not replace it with another headache!

Well that's it for now.  Till next time!

Monday, May 9, 2011

Happy Mothers Day......Yesterday!

Lets begin with last week first.  Or wait, the previous week.  Yeah, so the last week in April was secretaries day.  Our office always takes us out for lunch and gives us a nice gift.  So that Thursday I came in and did my usual, looking at the paper and what not and one of the attorneys came in and says did you see the graffiti?  HUH?  Nope, so we walked out and checked it out and by this time about 3 more people had come in, walked right past the "FUCK THIS PLACE" in big black marker next to the back door.  I tell you we are all oblivious.  So I point it out to the boss lady in case she needs to file some report.  She didn't notice it either.  I said it's time to get out the magic eraser.  She says whats that?  REALLY?  Are you living under a rock?  It's like the greatest cleaning invention since comet.  So I get it for her and tell her wet it first and it should come off.  She's like this sponge, is going to take that off.  Yep!  So she goes out and starts scrubbing.  Guess what it came off.  By this time one of the old guy attorneys came along to supervise the scrubbing.  He was also in total shock that this little white magic sponge was taking off permanent marker.  It was fucking comical.  So off to lunch we went to the place down the street.  It was not bad, I had a steak salad, but it could have used some dressing.  Hey it was free and I wasn't going to complain.  So were walking back and I swear they are still going on about the magic eraser.  All freaking day, it was like I showed them the invention of the wheel or something.  So about 2:30 ish I took my break, went to my car to read a bit and smoke.  So I see menopausal minion and the boss lady like frantically running around by the back door.  The boss lady putting her head in the garbage can, and I'm like WTF?  So I get out to see whats going on.  They are like do you smell something burning?  I was like huh, yeah I do.  Turns out, and it totally wasn't me, someone didn't put their cigarette out all the way and lit the butt can on fire.  I tell you it was an eventful day, and consequently my Friday as well.

My in laws came into town a day early.  JOY.  And instead of them staying at the hotel as they usually do just so my hubby's drunken brother doesn't get all butt hurt and jealous.  But alas they ended up staying at my house of course since we have room now.  I initially took Friday off as a mental day for myself since they were suppose to come in that afternoon.  Surprise, they came Thursday night.  So Friday I took them to Virginia City and did the touristy things while the hubby went to work.  Saturday we went to the Boy's game then BBQ'ed at our house.  Sunday we took them to Tahoe and had lunch, then BBQ'ed more at our house.  Monday they left.  I was so freaking tired from going non stop all weekend it SUCKED getting up Monday and going to work.  I did however lean to make sangria on Friday night and my aunt and mom came over and we got drunk.  AAAHHH, good times.  LOL!

So this mothers day weekend, other then the baseball games which I got volunteered to learn to do the score book and it's a good thing I did because the lady that does it didn't show up until the end of the game on Saturday.  We decided to just relax.  The hubby made me breakfast and got me my new camp chair lounger, cause my other one broke last year and I got to watch all my showes that were DVR'd that were stacking up due to the in laws visit.  The girl actually took a nap for a few hours on the couch while the hubby napped with the boy watching the TV upstairs and then we topped it off with pizza cause we didn't feel like cooking.  It was a nice mothers day!