So over the last couple years I have actually had nothing to say. Life has been all glitter and rainbows for me. So I put the blog on the back burner. Until yesterday! I was sitting in my car stewing about my hormonal, attention whore of a daughter. She's 14. Yes, I know what your thinking, What a lucky mom. HA! If you are actually lucky enough to have one of these, you know what I'm talking about. And things have been relatively fine until around December I suppose. So let me back up and tell you a story.
Once upon a time, in a land far far away, there was a fair maiden named Princess Bitch Face. Princess Bitch Face had a magic IPhone that her mother Queen Kick Ass could control her with when she wasn't behaving. Due to not turning in a lot of her math work she managed to have an F in math class. Seeing as how there was only 2 weeks left in the semester, Queen Kick Ass had to go meet with her counselor and math teacher to try and find a solution for her to try and get her grade to at least a D to pass. I meet with said counselor and her math teacher who I can only describe as the socially inept Amy Farrah Fowler from the Big Bang Theory, which assured me that if Princess Bitch Face would come in during lunch hour and to homework club everyday after school that she would NO DOUBT pass the semester. So we all made an agreement. Princess Bitch Face did as she was told, everyday attending lunch and homework club Amy Farrah Fowler. Re Doing all the work she needed to do, and at the end of the 2 weeks and beginning of Xmas break, she came away with a 59% A FUCKING 59%. Queen Kick Ass went on a sudden tear, and ripped Princess Bitch Face an new one for not doing the work when it was suppose to be done the first time, and trying to pull it out of her ass at the last minute as usual. Plus reamed Amy Farrah Fowler and the counselor a new one for assuring me that it could be done, but came up one point short. FUCKING FUCKS! So the good Queen that I am, the Princess needed an appropriate punishment. So I took the magic IPhone away and made her do daily chores for an hour of use per day the entire Xmas break. I told her that she wouldn't have full use of it until she could keep her grades steady and prove to me that she's not fucking off in class. (Side bar, I did try and get her out of that class with no such luck, so I to her she would just have to suck it up and do her best. It's not like I'm expecting A's or anything. At this point my standards are so low I am jumping for joy over a D).
To be continued............
