Friday, May 15, 2015

Nuclear Meltdown

I must have a serious hormonal imbalance at the moment because I've never been this damn weepy.  I think the stress of princess bitch face and her hanging on by a thread to graduate the 8th grade has gotten the better of me.  I got an envelope that was suppose to have the graduation tickets in it but instead had a letter that she might not pass and they were holding the tickets.  Well there's a slap in the face.  I really don't think she understands the effect it's having on me.  I'm so disappointed in her and her lack of giving a shit about anything but the phone, which she doesn't even have at the moment.  I have taken everything.  So I am a little pmsy add the stress of her on top of that, then I back into my neighbors car last night and that my friends sends me over the edge.  My mom came over to talk for a bit and I start bawling like someone died and find that I just can't stop.  I swear I cried for and hour.  I seriously lost my shit.  Then laid down on the couch to try and clam down, countinued to cry for the next fifteen minutes or so and fell asleep.  My husband wakes me up and has no clue on how to deal with this blubbering mess I've turned into because I'm the cold hearted bitch who doesn't cry ever and tells me to go to bed.  I sleep like shit.  Fucking up my car has really pissed me off.  I toss and turn most of the night and finally the damn alarm goes off and I lay there thinking to myself I need a minute.  I am giving myself a time out to get my shit together because if I go to work like this either someone's gonna die or they might have me committed.  So I call in.  Annhour later my co worker texts me that she is calling in, after a bunch of screaming FUCKS come out of my mouth and throwing the phone, my husband says please don't start crying again.  Which I almost did.  Wow, who the fuck did I piss off for this series of unfortunate events that has transpired? Is the universe pissed at me for some reason?  I texted her back I wasn't coming in today and she got her ass to work.  I spent the last two hours stress cleaning my house.  I took out some aggression on the toilets rather then someone's face.  I sat in the hot tub in the quiet for a couple hours and now I feel a bit better.  Hopefully the other shoe has already dropped and things can get back to normal.  Normal meaning me stop crying like a bitch.  Fingers crossed that she holds it together for 3 more days!