Monday, August 30, 2010

It's Finally OVER!

She's in, the house renovation nightmare is over.  We moved mom in this weekend, and boy am I wiped.  Friday I took the day off to help get her started.  I, with the help of her neighbor, who was running back and fourth because he was on the phone, in line with unemployment.  We managed to get all her bedroom furniture, which was all she pretty much had at my Aunts house, into her truck and into her new house.  With the exception of her bed, because it was huge and my brother was coming over with his flatbed trailer to move that.  My 14 year old cousin came home from school that day and helped me get it into the house.  Thank god because the hubby's kid flaked on Thursday to help her get a desk from her office, so I had to go help which she isn't that strong and it was difficult to say the least.  Muscles as I am going to call him, did such a good job.  My brother got off of work and got the bed, which I had to help get into the house.... :(  by this time my arms were turning to jello and I was tired.  The hubby got off and continued working on the little things that still needed to be done.  His reason for not helping lift anything was "well you know if I get hurt I cant work and then theres no money"  Yeah sure, excuses, excuses. 

Saturday we got up early, went over to tackle the storage unit.  What fun that was.  I didn't realize she still had that much crap.  I hadn't seen it in 4 years and figured she had to have downsized some.  NOT, so we managed to get everything over in 3 loads.  The only thing I couldn't do was the washer and dryer.  I was so tired by then and I literally had no more to give and made my hubby do it.  She made her way to Costco that afternoon to go get a couch she saw that she liked. was gone, co no couch.  Oh well.

Sunday we met for breakfast and the went to Lowes to get some hardware for the kitchen cabinets.  Oh yeah and some more stuff for the dishwasher that wasn't draining.  My poor hubby was working on the thing for like 3 days.  So we get back to her house and she says "I don't want to say anything but the wood floor in the laundry room is coming up in a spot"  I looked at it and was like huh I don't know?  So I said something to the hubby, which he checked the washer and automatically assumed that my brother didn't hook it up right.  And the washer was leaking, it was nobodys fault it just cracked.  And ruiened half the floors he just put in.  But he did get the dishwasher to work properly though.  What my theory is, is when she moved 4 years ago it was in the winter, she probably had some water in it when it went to storage and froze and cracked.  I did on a good note find the part on eBay for half the cost, and it was new, so that's the only thing we are waiting to fix at the moment.  She said fuck the floors and will replace them maybe in the spring.  To tell you the truth they arnt all that bad.  So we went to go dump some boxes at her work when she decides she would like to go check out the furniture store one more time.  Fine I say.  She finds a couch and the guy says it will take a week, she says cant I just have the floor model?  He's like I just put it out yesterday and no.  She literally gave him this big sob story about how we have had the month from hell and just wants to take this couch home.  He's like uh lady, no.  Finally he gave in and she got her couch.  Joy another thing for me to move.  I thought I was done and actually wore some halfway decent clothes yesterday.  Which moving the said couch put a hole in the knee of my favorite jeans....DAMN IT.

I really didn't want to get out of bed this morning.  It was freezing yesterday and last night and I just wanted to stay curled up in my blankets.  Every part of my body hurts at the moment, but I am so glad it's over.  Tonight I can go home, make dinner, and sit on my ass for the next 5 days.  No more nights till 8 or 9 working on the house, it's done and whatever still needs to be done can wait till the weekend, I'm done, stick a fork in me!

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

I need to kill some time!

I was trying to wait until tomorrow to make a post, but work seems to be dragging ass today, so what better way to kill some time entertaining you all!

First things first, yesterday morning while my daughter was getting ready for school, she comes strolling into the living room with a pair of black patent leather dress flats (thank you grandma for that purchase).  I say, you know if you wear those your going to have blisters by the end of the day.  To which I get a reply of (add snotty voice here) "no I wont, you don't know what your talking about"  Fuck, shes only 9 and I'm already stupid?  I say fine, don't say I didn't warn you.  About 3:00 I get a call from my grandma asking if I got a call from the girl.  I said no, why?  She left me a message asking if I could bring her some tennis shoes.  HA I fucking told her.  I do know what I'm talking about.  So before I go to pick them up I swing by the house and grab her flip flops because we are heading over to moms and I don't want to hear the complaining.  So I go to get them and I see my son heading into the lunch room to get a drink.  Latchkey is out on the playground AGAIN, fuck people, could you maybe bring the kids in around 4:30 and not have to pick the furthest playground you can find.  I don't like walking that far.  So I told the boy go get your sister so we can go.  Waiting, waiting, still waiting, OK WTF?  So I start trudging my ass to the playground to see what the hell is taking so long.  I run into the boy half way there and he says she doesn't believe me your hear.  HUH!  So I get within yelling distance of her and say Girl, lets go!  She looks at me and doesn't move.  OMG! I have places to be get you ass moving.  So begins the slowest walk (and we are already like 2 miles away from the car) EVER!  I start to leave and I hear can you carry me my feet have blisters.  Nope I said, you should have thought about that this morning when I told you those shoes will hurt your feet.  Think of this as a lesson learned.

So we finally make it over to my moms house where we were directed to move the remaining items on the floor to the laundry room, then sweep up for the carpet guys tomorrow.  YES DRILL SARGENT!  After a lovely learning experience with shelf paper, we did just that.  My mom was trying to get him to finish the wood floor, and said something to set him off.  Oh joy, now he's pissed.  I'm like what are you mad at?  to which I get no answer.  Fine fuck it then.  Come on he had like 1 board to lay to finish the kitchen and then like 3 halves of another to do the spot in front of the front door.  I could have probably done it, but in an act of defiance towards my mom, he acted like a baby and didn't do it.  So we get home and I say what the hell is your problem?  To which I get yelled at over the next half hour about how my mom needs to stop pushing him and he's doing this for her and to stop worrying it will get done.  Alrighty then, sorry I asked.  I think it was the diabetic rage he gets when he doesn't eat because after he got some dinner in him he was perfectly fine (shrug)  So after his small meltdown, he says could I get an email address that's shorter (.  I say sure you can just make up an account on Gmail.  Can you show me how to do it (our primary email address is like a paragraph long, I don't know what we were thinking)  sure I say, so he gets his laptop, which he has to use with a mouse because he is to much of a computer retard to figure out the touch pad.  So I start setting it up and trying to show him where to go to open it.  He's like why cant I just have a regular email, why do I need Gmail?  I said it is regular email, just through google.  I don't get it, will I be able to look at it on another computer?  HUH?  You can look at it on any computer it's not tied just to this one, oh he says so I say what do you want you address to be?  Well, he says will this be my log in name as he's staring at the screen or my email address.  OH-MY-FUCKING-GOD!  YES, It will be BOTH! What my log in or my email?  Are you kidding me?  So I tried to explain it the way I would my 6 year old, and just short of using sign language, and he finally got it.  I even made it easy for him showing him the button on the google tool bar to open his mail box.  Hell I even left it signed in so retard wouldn't have to type with one finger for 10 minutes trying to log in.

Which brings me to today.  Carpet is going in, or rather hopefully it's done.  I hope to god that he is over his whatever it is you want to call it with my mom.  I seriously cant wait until Monday because she will be all moved in and no more headaches.  We can get back to normal.  If anyone is ever thinking of remodeling....DONT, unless you want a divorce.  Do yourself a favor and hire someone to do it.  And this isnt even my house!

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

The Grass Isnt Always Greener!

Sunday, I stayed home and pretty much did nothing but finished the laundry.  I know real exciting huh.  Well the hubby kicked us out of the house, (Mom's) so he could get the floors done.  About 2 he called and said you wanna come over and keep me company?  Huh, weren't you the one that said you work better alone?  But what the hell, I'm not doing anything anyways, so me and the boy went over.  The laundry room looked so good and he was starting the kitchen.  My mom came by a couple hours later to see how it was going, and she was impressed.  They really do look good.  He isn't finished though because he was 1, yes 1 board short.  So we had to go buy a whole box for just 1 board.  That sucked but now he has enough to do her entry way now.  He was tired and we didn't eat so mom took us to Applebee's without the hubby, he went home.  Oh thank god, steak here I come.  It was so yummy and chalk full of A-1, I think I just had a meat-gasm just thinking about it.

Monday it was back to work seeing as how I'm feeling better.  And it was the first day of school for the kids.  First thing in the morning, Bipolar is already bitching about how her stomach hurts and she needs to throw up.  Ugh!  Go puke then and get back to work, cause I am not falling for it and sending you home.  You could throw up a lung for all I care, your not going anywhere.  It was a pretty non exciting day yesterday until I got home.  I picked up the kids from school.  Seemed to go pretty well for both of them, nobody's complaining just yet.  I filled out all the stupid yearly paperwork, made dinner, and waited for the hubby to get home.  He was late last night so we decided to just take a night off.  Then dickhead came home (the step bastard)  Since he went to visit grandpa in California, he's got it in his mind that now he wants to move there.  So for the one day he's been home, he's been making everything miserable for everyone because he thinks his dad will just say hey your to much of a pain in the ass move to your grandpa's.  SHEEYAH right.  So clean your room, do your laundry didn't get done so dad has to yell.   I'm sure he's formed this little plan in his tiny brain that this will actually work.  Then it was my turn to yell.  He came in 2 hours after dinner was made and cleaned up.  If your not here when dinners done, your on your own, I am not a short order cook.  So he makes a grilled cheese.  I say clean up your mess when your done.  Which I interpret as clean the dishes.  He interprets it as throw it all in the sink for you to do.  Fuck that, what am I your maid too?  So I go to his room and say clean up your mess, he says I did, I say, I did the dishes the dishwasher is set to run put shit in the dishwaher.  (eyeroll)  I get the response of "well! (and you have to use the snotty voice as you read) I'm not going to be here for much longer anyways"  YEAH, that's what you think.  Your stuck here fucko, I don't like it anymore then you do, but deal with it.  This is not the first time he thought moving out would be all rainbows and glitter.  First time, Jr. High.  He thinks moving in with Grandma will be days filled with shopping and doing whatever his little heart desires (like when he goes to visit right?).  Reality, Grandma turns into mega bitch and wont let him go anywhere or do anything but homework, outcome he moved back as fast as he could.  Second time, sophomore year of high school. I'm moving to my moms, cause I can do whatever I want there.  Reality, The first born who also decided to move there is the golden child, and poor little dickhead isn't getting the attention he thought he deserved.  Outcome, although it did last just about 6 months (which were the best of my life) he ultimately moved back.  Lucky me.  Which brings us to good ole #3, he goes to visit grandpa, and his aunt, who lives at home cause she's 26 and going through cancer treatments, which woo hoo, 3 more treatments and she's done.  Anyways back to the story, they take him and do all the fun things that families do when the come for a visit, and WHOA, I want to move here all of a sudden.  Yeah sure, I'm really sure that they, who just retired, who is getting their daughter through her treatments, really want a 16 year old coming to live with them, NOT.  So I post last night on my facebook that  "why do teenagers think the grass is always greener"?  I get a response from the hubby's step mom saying because they are stupid and they don't get it. HAHA, to which I reply well dickhead thinks he's going to move in with you, so watch out.  I am waiting for the response to that.  Then I can squash his little wet dream like a BUG!

Update:  This is an hour and a half after inital posting.  So I finally got a reply from Grandpas wife.  HAHAHA, that fucker aint going anywhere.  Grandpa said he doenst want to deal with a teenager, that he is to old and wants to hit the road in his RV.  I cant wait.......till he finds out he had to kiss ass for 2 whole weeks for nothing, and he's stuck with us.....HAHA, see thats what you get for thinking asshat!

Saturday, August 21, 2010

NyQuil is the best thing EVER!

So after 2 nights of waking up at 2:30, I finally decided on some NyQuil last night.  That stuff is the shit.  I fell asleep at 8:30 and didn't wake up the whole night.  I woke up at 7 and I feel so much better.  I can even breath better through my nose, well at the moment anyways.  Yesterday, my brother happened to be off and came over to set up the new computer.  OMG!  It is so fucking fast and works so good.  He was downloading the updates for windows and said my download speed was to slow and to call AT&T, so I did.  They checked my line and said there was a problem with it and they would have to send out a tech.  Great, aside from the fact that I am a computer dumbass, I was talking to a guy named Fez, yeah like the guy on that 70's show who was trying to explain to me what the problem was in really bad english.  I was like OK I don't understand, then he starts talking about something in liters?  OK I really don't know what my computer has to do with liters, but I live in the U.S. dude, and we don't use that kind of measurements.  I guess that's what I get for talking to a guy from India.  You know I realize that they are probably paying these people like 5 cents an hour, but wouldn't it be worth all the jobs they could create and less headache for everyone that calls trying to understand the person on the other end to just have a frigging call center in America?  I think so.  So anyways I set up the appointment for next Friday when I'm off and like half an hour later I get an automated call saying the line check was fine and do I wish to cancel my service call.  Uh no you fucks told me there was something wrong with it.  So I press 2 to talk to someone else that I hoped I could understand.  This time I got this chick who said she was in San Fransisco.  HHHHMMMM, I highly doubt that, but whatever.  So I go through the whole rigor moroe AGAIN, and she says yes I am not getting my full speed.  DUH, this is why I called the first time.  To make a long story short, the DSL filter they sent me 5 years ago to plug in my phone line to was now obsolete, and to just connect the computer directly to the phone line.  Viola, computer works perfect.

Teacher meet and greet was interesting yesterday.  I went to meet the girls teacher first.  She has a guy teacher this year, which should be interesting.  He was short maybe a few years older than me, wearing a fedora, socks with sandals, and playing some weird jazz music in his class.  Beatnik was the first thing that came to my mind.  Well hopefully he will make it fun for the kids anyways.  After last years teacher......ugh.  The boys teacher is the girls first grade teacher so I already knew her.  She was OK from what I remembered.  She said I looked familiar and I told her who my Daughter was and she remembered instantly.  I don't know if that was a good or bad thing.  She said oh have a cookie, and fill out some paper work, I said thanks but I don't want to contaminate your cookies, then she gives me this oh crap your sick look and quickly backed away, so I made that visit short.  I was out of there in half an hour it was great. 

Today the drill sargent is putting in the wood floors.  HAHA, he has never done this before so lets see how pissed he's going to be by the end of the day.  We have our last game tonight, but I'm not sure if I want to go or just stay home and have myself another NyQuil cocktail before bed.  I'll make up my mind later.  Have a great weekend all my fellow bloggers.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

It Never Ends!

Well, here it is, Thursday afternoon and I have been in bed all day.  I thought my allergies were acting up yesterday but I should have know with the soar throat and all that it probably wasn't.  I woke up at 2:30 in the morning with a river of snot flowing out of my nose.  Yay, I jumped out of bed to get some toilet paper then I couldn't go back to sleep.  I think after 2 hours I finally went back to sleep.  The alarm went off way to early this morning let me tell you.  I went back and fourth about calling in and even took a shower and got dressed, but in the end I said fuck it, I'm staying home.  I always feel bad about calling in, I don't know why?  I know the can function without me, but still, I guess that's why I have oodles of sick time built up.  I dropped off the kids this morning and came home and plopped myself into bed and this is where I've been ever since.  I love not being able to breath, but having a runny nose at the same time.  I'm sure I have worn myself down to the point of getting sick, but I will soldier on.  Hopefully I will feel better tomorrow and resume my help with the painting.

So we bought the computer (which is still not set up) and the lap top, which is the best fucking thing EVER.  I set it up last night and OMG! It works fantastic.  This little blog snippet is coming to you directly from my bed.  How awesome is that.  I don't even have to get up to use the computer anymore.  I love technology, and don't care if the main computer ever gets set up.  It just gives me and excuse to lay in bed and play it.  So last night I went to moms and we painted the office and living room with two coats of paint.  the drill Sargent needs to cut in all the walls now cause after painting my bathroom once and trying to get the corners , I got most of the paint on the ceiling.  The house is coming along though and it will  be done soon enough.  Ugh, I wish the cold meds would start working sometime soon.  And the funny thing is I think my mom is getting the same cold.  Well I hope you all have a nice weekend, it's off to the teacher meet and greet tomorrow afternoon, oh, what fun, cant wait (eyeroll)  Later!

Wednesday, August 18, 2010


OK, I have had about enough of today and the rest of this month.  Last night the drill sargent calls me and says he's not feeling well, he thinks his diabetes is making him off.  Or he has been working morning, noon, and night for 3 weeks straight including weekends trying to get my moms house done.  I told him to take the night off, I will make him dinner and he can relax and I will go paint with my mom so he could rest.  So when I get over to my moms I notice not only did we have to put a second coat on in her room, but the two other fucking rooms needed it too.  The we 2 coated the hallway and I went to get the kids from my grandmas house.  Oh what a fucking mistake that was.  I had talked to my daughters dad earlier in the day and he asked if he could pick her up on Thursday night since he hasn't seen her in like almost 3 weeks.  Being as she went camping with me, and the my grandma took off on vacation with her again, so i said sure, and it gets her out of my hair for a few days.  I also decided to take Friday off cause I need some kind of break before I crack.  To late the cracking has begun.  I mentioned to my grandma who at the moment has a real big stick up her ass for whatever reason and I really don't care what it is at the moment, that her dads wife was going to take her to get her hair cut this weekend.  I was totally fine with that.  School starts Monday and if he actually wants to pay for something I am not saying NO.  She totally flies off the handle over it.  I'm like WTF?  I was so fucking tired by this point I said it will be fine, just in an attempt to calm her down over this really inappropriate outburst of hers.  So the kids have been getting dropped off over there for a few hours a night so we can work in peace, On Monday I asked what they had for dinner, my son says I had a toaster strudel.  My Daughter says a kids cuisine and I said how come the boy didn't eat one?  She says he said he wasn't hungry, but he sure ate a lot of crap now didn't he?  So I told my mom who dropped him off on Tuesday to make sure and tell her to feed them dinner.  Once again he ate a fudgecicle.  I yelled at both of them and walked out.  Then she calls me a couple minutes after leaving (cause my brain can handle more bullshit) and says well the teacher meet and greet is Friday at 1.  OK what the hell, it was at 5:30 last year, now its at one, FUCKING PTA.  I said I cant think right now I will get back to you and hung up.

I was really dreading dropping the kids off over there this morning, and for good reason.  I really didn't want her to know I had Friday off, because I didn't want to get wrangled into going anywhere.  I just want to be left alone.  So this morning she says what about Friday I was going to take her and the boy to the meet and greet.  I said she will be at her dads house I don't know what to do, he hasn't seen her in like 3 weeks stop with the questions.  I will figure something out.  My main priority right now is getting the fucking house done and that's it.  If she doesn't make it OH-FUCKING-WELL she will meet her god damn teacher on fucking MONDAY!  I turned and walked out, into my car, lit up a smoke and called my mom screaming at her about what the hell was wrong with grandma.

Things got a little better once I was at work.  Only for and hour.  During a really boring IRA meeting, that I zoned off in.  I checked my phone after the meeting and what do you know, 3 missed fucking calls, 2 from the drill sargent who decided to stay home today because he got a hair up his ass that we needed a new computer (which we do ours is a piece of crap) and decides to go look at them.  HA-FUCKING-HA between the here is this computer and this lap top, the guy says we should get this and I don't know what do you think?  That's the fucking problem asshat I cant think right now.  My mom trying to be helpful says she will buy us the computer for helping her out so much, so I relay the message, and it's on from there.  he says I will pick you up at lunch and we will go look.  Fine whatever.  SO we go to best buy get a computer and a laptop, because we need 2 fucking computers apparently, and get the 20 questions from the zit faced, computer geek selling it to us, I said look I don't need any of your crap, my brother is a computer geek, I am on my lunch hour so just ring it up so I can get the hell out of here. Did and done!

So he says on our way back to my office I am going to go paint at your moms, uh yeah you better do something cause she just fucking bought you a computer dickhead.  So next phone call is, Lowes is out of paint.  Are you fucking kidding me?  So he ends up having to get 5 1 gallon things of paint which took the and hour to mix.  Next phone call, do you know how much my brushes cost?  No and I really don't care either.  $15.00 a piece.  AANNNDDD?  What is your point, you didn't rinse them out properly, now they are ruined.  Both of them I say, yes both, they are hard and still have paint in them, huh really cause I only used 1 count it, ONE fucking brush yesterday so if the others fucked up that's on you buddy.  Send the kid out to buy to more you have a gift card and stop calling me.

Right now, at this very moment I am just waiting to get off so I can go over to my moms listen to him complain about what we fucked up yesterday and then over to grandmas so I can hear her complain about whatever it is that I did wrong now regarding my kids, so GREAT FUCKED AGAIN!

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

The Renovations Continue!

Friday:  I had 3 hours to use of my vacation before I lost it at the end of the month, and since it was slow, I decided to go home early.  I got this book called The Forgotten Garden, and OMG, I couldn't put it down.  So I had about a hundred or so pages to go and went home and read for like 2 hours.  Then the hubby came home and blew my quiet time all to shit.  So I got ready to go to mom's and continue the work.  We went over with the intention of painting the ceilings, HA, harder then it looks.  I did one room and it looked like crap.  My brother did another room and it looked like crap.  So the hubby, which I am now naming the drill Sargent, banned us from painting.  On the way home he said we got in his way and would rather work by himself.  OK, I said tomorrow morning you go over by yourself and we will meet you there in the afternoon.

Saturday:  We got up and he went over, by himself and I did some laundry, and then mom picked me up.  She was doing a little garage saleing, looking  for some lamps or whatever she could find for her house.  She did find a really nice daybed, but when we went back, the lady had just sold it, like within a matter of seconds upon our arrival.  So we gave that up and went to Lowes AGAIN, for more paint.  The drill sargent underestimated how much paint we were going to actually need.  Dropped the paint off, and noticed he had done the whole ceiling, kitchen, living room and everything.  Man he works fast.  So we left to go to Costco in search of a couch.  Then he told us to just not come back, so we went and showered, changed clothes, and headed to Reno to look at some furniture stores.  3 stores later, still no decision, we headed home.  Went to eat dinner then home to bed to get ready for day 2.  And P.S. I really hate garage saleing, I don't need other people's crap that they don't even want.  I am kind of a snob that way I guess.

Sunday:  He went over again by himself, hey he got a lot done without us in the way, and I was ready to take another day off, but stupid me went over there anyways and ended up scraping paint off the windows.  Then mom says will Windex take it off?  HHHMMMM, lets see cause I have been scraping for 20 minutes now and only have 2 windows done.  Low and behold, Windex takes off paint ( I guess the Dad from My Big Fat Greek Wedding was right, just spray some Windex on it).  That made the job go a lot faster once we figured it out.  The drill sargent has taken to calling my mom and I Laverne and Shirley.  You can imagine why!  So he still was not letting us paint (not that I blame him, we did a pretty shitty job on the ceiling) So we decided to paint some of the patio furniture the previous lady left.  It was going good and it turned out nice, but and here's where the whole Lavern & Shirley thing come into play.  My mom managed to paint her foot and flip flop red, we over sprayed off the drop cloth and now there is a big red square in the middle of her driveway, I managed to inhale god knows how much Rustolium, when I went to blow my nose later on it was Burgundy.  AAAHHH good times, but we were gonna paint something DAMN IT.

Monday:  Bipolar called in, big shock!  It was her Daughters 6th birthday this weekend so I'm sure she had to recover from that (shaking my head) (rolling my eyes) My day was actually busy so it went by pretty fast thank god.  I threw a pork roast in the crock pot so I could bring dinner over to moms and eat while we were working.  I got off, packed everything up, mom dropped the kids off at Grandma's and we went to work.  I asked the drill sargent if there was anything I could do and he said if you don't fuck it up you can start painting the bedrooms.  HALLI-FUCKING-LLUJAH, I quickly texted my mom and said he's letting us paint!  So in my new found responsibility, I tried my best not to fuck it up.  We started with her room, and it went OK, we have to go over it again tonight, but once we got to the other 2 bedrooms we were fucking pro's.  Our night ended at 8 cause it started getting dark, I think I went home, put on the jammies and died in my bed.  Now I am ready for round 2 tonight.  We told him he could paint the living room and office, since he does a better job then us, but YAY we still got to help.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Thank God It's OVER!

The great carpet debacle is finally over.  On Tuesday after a shit ton of phone calls from an irate mom and an annoyed hubby, which one of them actually hung up on me at one point (bitches) I get one last call at 6:30 at night telling me to come over to the house quickly.  Oh god this cant be good.  I figured she wasn't over there because she texted me at 5 and said let me know when they leave so she can take out the trash can.  So I hopped in my car and went over.  They were all there (including the carpet guy) she was writing a check, and had picked out some carpet......FINALLY, I said to the hubby's co worker, they have been driving me crazy.  He laughed and said you don't know the half of it, you think you heard a lot of bitching, I think I heard enough from your hubby to last a lifetime.  So they just wanted my opinion on the carpet she picked.....I politely said it's fine, and I don't give a flying fuck what you put in here just as long as you picked something, and you both stop calling me.

So Wednesday was a nice calm phone call free day.  I still even have full battery life.  YAY ME!  We did go over last night to clean up all the dust and debris from the ceiling re do.  Got most of the floor painted with KILZ.  The boy was hungry so I went to go get some Jack in the Crack for dinner while we were working.  I, of course was a good girl, knowing I would have to eat in front of the hubby and got a chicken sandwich, but what he didn't know was I added 2 tacos to the order and ate them on the way back to the house sneakily leaving the wrappers in my moms car so she could throw them away....hehehe, the meat-a-palooza continues.  Oh and I got a text from my sis in law who is entertaining the step bastard in CA for a couple of weeks.  It says she took her niece to get her nails done and had the bastards eyebrows waxed in the process.  I was like he actually let you talk him into that?  She said yeah, but it took some convincing.  Can you imagine, a 16 year old BOY getting waxed.  That would have been priceless to see.  I think I would have paid money to see it.  She says it looks good.  I reply yeah it might now, but wait till it starts growing back.  Can you say uni brow, I mean its bad enough this kid has a Herman Munster forehead but add a uni brow to it.....fucking awesome. I cant wait!

Tonight the painting continues, but on the walls this time.  Hopefully we can bust this out by Saturday and have Sunday off.  Here's to wishful thinking!

Tuesday, August 10, 2010


I find myself being the mediator at the moment.  First with my Hubby and Mom, regarding the damn house renovations.  My Mom has finally lost it and so has the Hubby.  I was wondering how long it would take them to break.  I am surprised it actually took this long.  And we are only 2 weeks in.  3 more to go woo hoo.  First off my Mom is freaking out over the carpet not getting in on time for her to move.  Second my Hubby is freaking out over the fact that my Mom is freaking out and has it handled.  But Mom doesn't believe him, therefore Hubby is ready to strangle her.  All while I am getting phone calls from both bitching about the other.  I know he will get it done, and she is....well that's just the way she is, so I am trying to calm the whole situation down by telling them both what they want to hear.  So far it has worked until now.  Now they are both yelling at me.  Pretty soon they can both stick it up their asses and deal with each other.

Second, Menopausal Minion is back from vacation.  Bipolar minion is already passing her work on to the other one.  This time she did have a legitimate reason.  I was at my desk and noticed an email saying one of the secretaries needed help.  I told Bipolar to go help her and she says where's Menopausal?  I said I don't know that's why I told you to do it.  It's not like you got anything else to do anyways.  Next I hear her calling Menopausal and saying the secretary needed help and to go help her.  I'm like I told you to do it.  She says she's gotta run home cause she ripped her shirt down the back.  OK I said, good excuse.  So she says this errand is right by my house I will take it on my way back to the office.  OK sounds good.  Then Menopausal starts in "well I'm glad she's taking my errand away from me" (sigh) is it really that big of a deal?  I'm wondering how long before it comes to blows between them.  Hopefully soon cause I could use a laugh.

Last night I went into my room where the boy was watching TV.  I smelled this god awful smell and was like WTF is that?  I figured it was the hubby's shoes because he just got home and changed his clothes.  I opened the window wider and turned on the fan and told the hubby his shoes are stinking up the place.  Then a little while later I called the boy for dinner and the phone rang so I grabbed it and the boy was sitting in front of me at the table when I get a whiff of nasty feet smell again.  I bend down and smell his foot and it about knocked me on my ass.  OMG! his feet reek like his dad's and he's only 6.  Holy shit if they smell this bad now, what the hell are they going to smell like when he hits puberty?  I wonder if they make odor eaters that small, cause he's going to be needing them.

Monday, August 9, 2010

The weekend

So here I thought my Thursday was the day from hell.  HA, I was wrong.  Friday sucked so much ass, it left a hickey.  Aside from it being slow as hell, but with the running back and fourth to the store a million times, then with the promise of getting off slightly early from the boss, she totally reneged then yelled at me.  I finished early, like only 45 minutes, but still, it's 45 minutes.  Then as I'm waiting for her to tell me to go, I finally gave up when I had 8 minutes left of work.  I texted my mom because she was picking me up to take me to the lake, when of course the boss walks in and says are you on facebook?  Um NO, I'm letting my mom know when to come get me.  Don't you have anything to do she says and walks out.  8 fucking minutes, REALLY, you bitch.  I found something to do for 5 minutes and walked out FUMING.  Met my mom at the house threw everything in the car and then continued to scream at her about what had just happened.  Needless to say it was a long car ride to the lake.....for her.  I had the last of my meat-a-palooza on my way out.  Sirloin burger with bacon.....yum.  That calmed me down a little, but the drinks I had once we got there helped more.

Saturday was a nice day of boating and swimming.  The girl decided she wanted to try water sking.  She was up and running the first try.  I am so proud of her.  She did a really good job.  My poor son was fried under his eyes because my first mistake was sending him out with the hubby, who only put on sunscreen once so the poor guy wasn't such a happy camper the rest of the weekend.  But the day was nice, then the thunderstorms decided to start up.  We lost an easy up (that's ok it wasn't ours anyways) had sand in my chicken, and was stuck in the trailer with all the kids for a short time.  Small space and lots of kids equals unhappy me!  Once the wind died down a little we went out by the fire.  We ended up with some new neighbors that afternoon.  Oh the sweet sounds of mariachi music blaring at 10 at night.  We were all kind of laughing cause the people next to them were having a radio war blasting of all things Nickleback.  So it was a mariachi Nicklback mash up.  Then the ranger came told them to shut it off.  as soon as he left it went right back on.  Then we noticed it had picked up pace, it was kind of like punk mariachi music, if you can imagine that.  All I have to say is thank god I have ear plugs.

Sunday we all packed up and went home.  The in laws decided to take the step bastard with them for a couple of weeks...oh the sweet joy, this day just keeps getting better.  Got home, showered, and jammie time it was.  Then some pizza and the race and off to bed.

Today I was a little worried about seeing the boss because of that little snafu Friday.  But she actually apologized this morning and I said sorry too, cause I don't want to be a total bitch, and I like my job (well most of the time) So now it's back to chicken, kids and work.....BOOO.

Friday, August 6, 2010

The night off!

Well after a day from hell yesterday, I certainly deserved my wonderful night I had to myself.  I started my meat-a-palooza yesterday afternoon by getting myself a jumbo jack and 2 tacos from jack in the box.  Then topped it off with an arby's melt and loaded potatoe bites for dinner.  I bought 2 additional sandwiches for lunch today.  Tonight will probably be taco bell since I'm heading out to the lake after work.  This is not gonna be good for my diet, oh well.  So anyways I got home to a quiet house, it was so nice, ate my food the messed around on Facebook for an hour or so.  I put on my jammies and put in my movie, hopped into bed and relaxed.

I slept surprisingly well last night without the hubby.  Which he has called like 4 times already this morning.  I really didn't miss him or the kids at all.  The only one I seemed to miss was the dog.  So I guess it's going to be a crazy day today, because I have to go get more beer, water, a birthday cake for my sis in law, a present, and sunscreen.  Fuck he hasn't been there a whole day yet and already needs more beer and water?  WTF are they doing out there?

So I get into work this morning and go empty the dishwasher upstairs and stacked the glasses that needed to come down to the kitchen and they fucking fell over.  I broke like 3 glasses this morning.  So I picked it up and went to the janitors closet to get the vacuum and start to go down the hall and notice the fucking thing is missing parts.  OK, why do we still have this thing hanging around if it's BROKEN? So I run downstairs to get the other piece of shit, I swear this building is huge and we only have 1 crap vacuum from like the 1960's that works?  Ha, yeah, well that's and understatement, the thing barely sucks, I was vacuuming for like 10 minutes and there is still some glass on the floor, finally I said fuck it and moved on.  I really hope it's not gonna be one of "those" days.

I cant wait to get out to the lake this afternoon and sit my ass in a chair for the next few days.  Fingers crossed this day will go smoothly and quick.  Fingers Crossed.  Have a good weekend!

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Just Let Me Lie Down!

I think my hubby finally got the camping crap all done.  It took him all damn day, 1 ruined lunch hour and me going to bed waaayyy past my bedtime, but I think he got everything done.  The in laws decided to come over last night, my sis in law texted me at like 5:30 and said they were stopping at the store and would be over.  I figured 20 minutes or so since they were ordering a cake and that was all.  An hour and a half goes by before they showed up.  So after chatting for half an hour I'm like can we please go eat cause I'm starving and its like 7.  We normally eat around 5-5:30, so went out and had a few glasses of wine, ate the most delicious pulled pork (I know, no chicken) and potatoes and by the time we got home it was 9:30 and I was stuffed beyond stuffed.  He of course had to hook up the trailer and boat so they could just leave this morning (I don't know why he thinks they are going to be on time) so he busted ass for like an hour getting everything hooked up because they were suppose to meet at our house around 7:30.  So I watched some TV and then went to bed.  I am so freaking tired this morning, and am not used to going to bed this late without being able to sleep in.  I think with all of the non stop work from last weekend and then trying to get ready for the in laws this week, it's all catching up with me.

But alas the angels are finally smiling down on my poor tired head.  I can actually hear them busting out in a chours of Hallelujah.  I, yes me, have a whole night to MYSELF!  I could literally pee my pants with excitement right now.  I called my Grandma and asked if she would keep the girl tonight.  I have a netflix chick flick due in my mailbox today, hubby is gone with the dog and boy for the night.  I am going to get myself a piece of meat for dinner, make some popcorn, watch my movie in my nice comfy bed, and call it an early night, I cant fucking wait.  I can actually get up late in the morning, not have to yell at anybody to brush their teeth and get dressed.  OMG!  Ya know it's the little things like this that make me HAPPY!

Wednesday, August 4, 2010


So my Hubby took the day off from work to go work at my moms house today.  Ha, yeah, I didn't think that was going to happen.  Instead this morning he decides to go shopping for camping.  The in laws are here and they are leaving tomorrow morning for the lake.  I am coming out on Friday with my mom because I couldn't take any days off this week due to menopausal minion taking her vacation.  So anyways, he pulled everything out last night, and decides to shop this morning.  Well he made it to Wal-Mart and that's about it.  After 6 calls from him this morning while he was at the store, then he was yelling at me that he couldn't find something on my list, I was ready to turn off my phone.  So the last call I got was I don't think I'm going to make it to your moms today because now I have to fix the seat in the boat.  There is nothing wrong with it, it was fine and hasn't been used since the beginning of July when we went out last.  I think it's just and excuse.  Which really sucks cause she was paying him for today, but not now, ASS, and we need the money too.  I am going to say this again, this was a really bad time for them to come visit.  So now he's home, yay, another lunch hour ruined.

Yesterdays lunch hour was ruined by my Grandma who needed to come over to check the price of more hotels that she had already called on, but just wanted to make sure the Internet price wasn't cheaper.  She brought me lunch though, and guess what it was chicken.  If I have to eat another piece of chicken I swear I'm going to lose it.  I didn't want to cook last night cause we only had chicken in the freezer and she brought all this fried chicken over so I ate a half can of chips and a half tub of macaroni salad with a peach chaser for desert.  I think I nailed all the food groups in that one. 

I really cant wait for him to leave tomorrow because then I at least have the house to myself for a night.  Well, no scratch that.  The girl will be home.  Hopefully she doesn't bug me.  For dinner I think I'm going to get the biggest greasiest burger I can find.  Or some meat product that I don't have to cook and don't have to get out of my car to get and that's not anywhere close to chicken or chicken bi product. 

So I was channel surfing on Monday after the whole cleaning bit and TLC has a new show on called the little chocolatiers.  HHHMMM, curiosity got the best of me, so I flipped the channel.  And OMG! it was actually midget's who made chocolate's.  WTF, TLC?  Little people big world and the little couple wasn't enough?  Although it was like that show the cake boss and ace of cakes only without the cake, and weird crap made out of chocolate.  But really?  I think we have went a little (no pun intended) to far.  It's bad enough that I couldn't find anything to watch last night and ended up watching that show about the Duggars, and all I have to say about that is I really hope her uterus falls out soon.  The world does not need anymore weird prairie dressing kids who think they need to in turn have a butt load of additional kids to feel closer to god.  Stop it, you ruining society. And taking my tax dollars. Because unless your a freaking millionaire there is no way in hell you are supporting all those kids on your own.

Monday, August 2, 2010

I'm Fried!

Well after a seriously long ass Friday at work, I went and picked up the boy, dropped him off at Grandma's house and went to work at Mom's new house.  I have to give props to these construction workers, cause that's some HARD work.  We started by scraping the popcorn off the ceiling's in the entire 1500 square foot house. My hubby thank god had got there a couple of hours before us and had 2 rooms done.  We started on the master bedroom.  Holy crap, after an hour and a half i was ready to go, but I soldered on.  We got that done finally, took a pizza and beer break and back to work.  6 of us were there and managed to get most of the house done.  Yay us.  Around 8:30 we decided to call it a night.  Covered in dust from head to toe went home got in the shower and went to bed. 

Saturday, got up fairly early, went and had breakfast and back to the house for more scraping.  My hands hurt so fucking bad, I could barely hold my fork.  Mom was already hard at work when we got there and I jumped in to help.  We got the living room and kitchen finished and that left the laundry room.  If I had to scrap anymore I was going to puke up ceiling dust.  We left it and made the step bastard do it.  Hell he is getting paid I'm not.  The mud work was started and we got busy vacuuming up all the crap.  Around 4:30 we decided to go shower and eat, then we hit Lowes to buy a dishwasher.  Hubby and Mr. DMV were asking so many questions my Mom was like I don't care, I'm so tired ask me tomorrow.

Sunday, since we got all the scraping done we decided to pull out and hedge some bushes in the front so the painter could paint.  Let me tell you about pulling up juniper fucking blows.  They are the hardest god damn things to get out of the ground.  Hubby had to take a saw zal to one of them, and I think it ate the blade.  Alas it finally came up.  After some minor cleaning up we decided to call it an early day since we were busting ass for the last 2.  So we went home around 3 and I jumped in the shower, I was so tired and I was trying to shave my legs.  My shower is tiny so I have to move the head so it points to the back wall so I can sit and shave.  So here I am hair full of conditioner, body all soaped up, razor in hand trying to move the shower head and BAM, fucking thing breaks off, water shooting with fire hose force right in my face.  I freaked out knocked over the shampoo bottles knocked all the crap off the shower caddy trying to stop the water.  The I get the bright idea to turn it down, ha that just made the water shoot out cold.  I turned it off tried to put it back on said fuck it threw it on the ground grabbed my towel and went to the front bathroom to rinse off.  Hubby was like what are you doing?  And I'm like the fucking shower head broke off I was all soapy.  Good thing we have some spares.  After that fiasco I put on my jammies and went to the couch.  Then he decides to make chicken (ha I know more chicken) and says what side are you going to make.  Huh what was that?  I have been busting ass for 3 days and now you want me to cook, fuck you I don't think so I threw a veggie steamer in the microwave and that was our side.

Today, since the in laws are coming in tomorrow and I haven't had time to do anything, the house still needs a scrubbing.  I got up, took the boy to camp, and me and the girl came back and tackled the house.  I made her dust everything, then clean the windows while i scrubbed everything else.  After 4 hours of deep cleaning we went to taco bell.  Now I'm going to go lie down cause i can barely type right now.  Thank god for spell check.  I swear they picked the worst time to come visit.  I dont have time for this, this week.  Now we have to go shopping for camping this weekend.  When am I going to do this?  I have to work tomorrow, and I'm lucky any of the laundry got done this week.  It's done but god knows when I'll put it away.  ok time for nap, my brain is melting.