Wednesday, August 25, 2010

I need to kill some time!

I was trying to wait until tomorrow to make a post, but work seems to be dragging ass today, so what better way to kill some time entertaining you all!

First things first, yesterday morning while my daughter was getting ready for school, she comes strolling into the living room with a pair of black patent leather dress flats (thank you grandma for that purchase).  I say, you know if you wear those your going to have blisters by the end of the day.  To which I get a reply of (add snotty voice here) "no I wont, you don't know what your talking about"  Fuck, shes only 9 and I'm already stupid?  I say fine, don't say I didn't warn you.  About 3:00 I get a call from my grandma asking if I got a call from the girl.  I said no, why?  She left me a message asking if I could bring her some tennis shoes.  HA I fucking told her.  I do know what I'm talking about.  So before I go to pick them up I swing by the house and grab her flip flops because we are heading over to moms and I don't want to hear the complaining.  So I go to get them and I see my son heading into the lunch room to get a drink.  Latchkey is out on the playground AGAIN, fuck people, could you maybe bring the kids in around 4:30 and not have to pick the furthest playground you can find.  I don't like walking that far.  So I told the boy go get your sister so we can go.  Waiting, waiting, still waiting, OK WTF?  So I start trudging my ass to the playground to see what the hell is taking so long.  I run into the boy half way there and he says she doesn't believe me your hear.  HUH!  So I get within yelling distance of her and say Girl, lets go!  She looks at me and doesn't move.  OMG! I have places to be get you ass moving.  So begins the slowest walk (and we are already like 2 miles away from the car) EVER!  I start to leave and I hear can you carry me my feet have blisters.  Nope I said, you should have thought about that this morning when I told you those shoes will hurt your feet.  Think of this as a lesson learned.

So we finally make it over to my moms house where we were directed to move the remaining items on the floor to the laundry room, then sweep up for the carpet guys tomorrow.  YES DRILL SARGENT!  After a lovely learning experience with shelf paper, we did just that.  My mom was trying to get him to finish the wood floor, and said something to set him off.  Oh joy, now he's pissed.  I'm like what are you mad at?  to which I get no answer.  Fine fuck it then.  Come on he had like 1 board to lay to finish the kitchen and then like 3 halves of another to do the spot in front of the front door.  I could have probably done it, but in an act of defiance towards my mom, he acted like a baby and didn't do it.  So we get home and I say what the hell is your problem?  To which I get yelled at over the next half hour about how my mom needs to stop pushing him and he's doing this for her and to stop worrying it will get done.  Alrighty then, sorry I asked.  I think it was the diabetic rage he gets when he doesn't eat because after he got some dinner in him he was perfectly fine (shrug)  So after his small meltdown, he says could I get an email address that's shorter (.  I say sure you can just make up an account on Gmail.  Can you show me how to do it (our primary email address is like a paragraph long, I don't know what we were thinking)  sure I say, so he gets his laptop, which he has to use with a mouse because he is to much of a computer retard to figure out the touch pad.  So I start setting it up and trying to show him where to go to open it.  He's like why cant I just have a regular email, why do I need Gmail?  I said it is regular email, just through google.  I don't get it, will I be able to look at it on another computer?  HUH?  You can look at it on any computer it's not tied just to this one, oh he says so I say what do you want you address to be?  Well, he says will this be my log in name as he's staring at the screen or my email address.  OH-MY-FUCKING-GOD!  YES, It will be BOTH! What my log in or my email?  Are you kidding me?  So I tried to explain it the way I would my 6 year old, and just short of using sign language, and he finally got it.  I even made it easy for him showing him the button on the google tool bar to open his mail box.  Hell I even left it signed in so retard wouldn't have to type with one finger for 10 minutes trying to log in.

Which brings me to today.  Carpet is going in, or rather hopefully it's done.  I hope to god that he is over his whatever it is you want to call it with my mom.  I seriously cant wait until Monday because she will be all moved in and no more headaches.  We can get back to normal.  If anyone is ever thinking of remodeling....DONT, unless you want a divorce.  Do yourself a favor and hire someone to do it.  And this isnt even my house!

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