Mediator

I find myself being the mediator at the moment.  First with my Hubby and Mom, regarding the damn house renovations.  My Mom has finally lost it and so has the Hubby.  I was wondering how long it would take them to break.  I am surprised it actually took this long.  And we are only 2 weeks in.  3 more to go woo hoo.  First off my Mom is freaking out over the carpet not getting in on time for her to move.  Second my Hubby is freaking out over the fact that my Mom is freaking out and has it handled.  But Mom doesn't believe him, therefore Hubby is ready to strangle her.  All while I am getting phone calls from both bitching about the other.  I know he will get it done, and she is....well that's just the way she is, so I am trying to calm the whole situation down by telling them both what they want to hear.  So far it has worked until now.  Now they are both yelling at me.  Pretty soon they can both stick it up their asses and deal with each other.

Second, Menopausal Minion is back from vacation.  Bipolar minion is already passing her work on to the other one.  This time she did have a legitimate reason.  I was at my desk and noticed an email saying one of the secretaries needed help.  I told Bipolar to go help her and she says where's Menopausal?  I said I don't know that's why I told you to do it.  It's not like you got anything else to do anyways.  Next I hear her calling Menopausal and saying the secretary needed help and to go help her.  I'm like I told you to do it.  She says she's gotta run home cause she ripped her shirt down the back.  OK I said, good excuse.  So she says this errand is right by my house I will take it on my way back to the office.  OK sounds good.  Then Menopausal starts in "well I'm glad she's taking my errand away from me" (sigh) is it really that big of a deal?  I'm wondering how long before it comes to blows between them.  Hopefully soon cause I could use a laugh.

Last night I went into my room where the boy was watching TV.  I smelled this god awful smell and was like WTF is that?  I figured it was the hubby's shoes because he just got home and changed his clothes.  I opened the window wider and turned on the fan and told the hubby his shoes are stinking up the place.  Then a little while later I called the boy for dinner and the phone rang so I grabbed it and the boy was sitting in front of me at the table when I get a whiff of nasty feet smell again.  I bend down and smell his foot and it about knocked me on my ass.  OMG! his feet reek like his dad's and he's only 6.  Holy shit if they smell this bad now, what the hell are they going to smell like when he hits puberty?  I wonder if they make odor eaters that small, cause he's going to be needing them.