Tuesday, November 8, 2011
This has been quite a rough week so far. My grandpa is dying. I am not good with death. I don't know if it's because I haven't had to deal with it much, or if it's just my personal preference. I got away with avoiding my other grandparents death because I was pregnant and everybody left me alone, didn't pressure me about going to the funeral and I was fine with that. I don't need "closure" like some people do. I would prefer to remember them the way they were and not in a box. My dad was a different circumstance. He was young, and went quick. It was more shocking then anything. I still felt no need to go to his funeral, however I had to. So I sucked it up and went. Now that's the last memory I have and it really sucks. This morning we all went to the hospital and the doctor said there was nothing they could do. So thank god my grandma agreed to take him off all his meds and just keep him comfortable. Now we are just waiting. I am hoping it's fast. I'm hoping it's today rather then tomorrow because the step kids birthday is tomorrow and my dad already died on the othe step kids birthday so I am praying for it not to be tomorrow. I'm not sure how to break the news to my daughter. She is very close to my grandparents, and I'm also not sure if I should bring her to the funeral? I don't want to put all that on an 11 year old. Well sorry for the depressing post but I needed to talk it out. Thanks for listing to my internal struggles.