Thursday, October 28, 2010

I Spoke to Soon!

Yes, I sure as fuck did.  Oh NO, I'm not getting sick, I feel better today.  It's just a cough.  MY ASS!  It has turned into full blown snotfest.  Last night about 8 while watching the world series with the hubby (I'll get to that little tid bit later) the nose started to clog and the cough started to come on with a vengeance.  I decided to take some cold meds, but they did not help.  I spent the entire night tossing and turning trying to get the clogged side of my nose to drain to the other side (you know what I'm talking about) Then I just loved waking up from a dead sleep to have snot running out of my nose like a faucet.  The tissues were in my sons room and I was to lazy to get up and used a piece of toilet paper I had gotten earlier.  Well at some point I was scrambling for the tissue and last time I had used it I guess I didn't hit the dresser trying to put it back.  It fell on the floor, so of course I'm stretching halfway off the bed searching the floor for it, finding it had landed on the dog bed and it was stuck under the dogs ass.  After finally retrieving the toilet paper and to lazy to get another one, I used it and ended up with dog hair up my nose.  Of course I cant call in sick today, because Bipolar BITCH, decided she needed today off.  FUCKING BITCH!  So I turned my purse into a tissue box and went on my way.  I love Vicks Puffs tissues.  I just want to wad them up and shove them up my nose and breath the sweet aroma of menthol.  Hey that's not a bad idea.  Someone needs to invent the "Nosepon" Complete with menthol relief!

So I love watching sports with the hubby.  It is so entertaining to hear him yelling at the TV.  He is rooting for the Giants but still is like yelling at the Rangers pitchers for pitching good pitches ( I mean come on pick a side already).  I don't get it.  It is comical though.  So the last inning we decide to head to our room to watch some shit we have recorded.  He says I don't need to watch the last couple plays, I know the giants are going to win.  OK, whatever you can watch it if you want, I mean we have already watched the entire game why not finish it?  So he starts the show, stops it 2 minutes later and says I just want to see if it's over yet.  Check the game, starts the show, repeat, like 3 times.  I'm like just leave the fucking game on till its over please.  Stop this madness.  Finally got to finish the show we started after like a half hour.

Yesterday one of the Attorneys I work for (there's like 15 of them)  started talking about Sharon Angle (and how much we HATE that psycho BITCH).  And he tried to make a joke about her not having a "wiener" but what was funny about it was he said it so quiet like he was a little kid, made it all the more funny.  Plus he says I saw your friend Carol today.  I was like Carol, Carol, Oh you mean Boobs?  The look on his face was priceless when I said that.  He said at the bank.  I was like yeah Boobs, that's what we call her because she has huge fake knockers.  HAHAHA, I can imagine him going in there now totally starring at her chest after I said that.  Even my hubby has her in his phone as Boobs!  I have ruined his banking experience, or I might have just made it a little more pleasurable!  :)


  1. Have you tried a neti pot? I've never used one, but pouring water up one nostril to have it mix with snot and ooze out of the other nostril sounds like hours of fun.

    Poor, Boobs. Everybody wants to pick on the girl with the big tits when what they should be doing is offering her a back massage. :P

  2. Oh god NO, I dont need to be mixing my snot with anytthing but afrin. NO THANK YOU!. Not on my top ten things to try list.

    Hey boobs did it to herself. She had nice small regular boobs then decided to go all ginormous at the plastic surgons office. She only has herself to blame for all the staring.

  3. Almost exactly one year ago I had the motherload of all colds and pretty much couldn't stop bitching about it (totally reasonable if you ask me)... but I had posted a blog doing some more complaining and quite a few people called me and recommended a neti pot. I just laughed at them with a "hell no!"... but when I just couldn't take it anymore, I tried it. I didn't even have a real neti pot, just a tiny teapot with a spout I could fit up my nostril. Filled it with warm water and some salt and tried it.
    First go.. um... well, I was doing it in front of a mirror and no one mentioned "keep your mouth closed"... so it was a big wet mess, but funny... then the 2nd time I couldn't stop laughing at how funny I looked doing it.. so water still kept coming out my mouth. It was pretty gross. On the 3rd go... I got it. Let me tell you, I am NOT a fan of people with their "oh, you know what you should do...?" statements... but I'll be damned the neti pot worked. It worked REALLY well.
    I'm not suggesting you try it if you don't want to, I'm just letting you know that I was totally against the idea, but it worked magic on my nose.

    Either way, hope you feel better.

  4. Huh good to know, I just hope in a few days it will ease up. My office kicked me out and tomorrow is a holiday so I can at least get some much needed rest. I will keep it in mind though if I get desperate enough ;)