Friday, September 24, 2010

Some interesting things!

Yesterday afternoon, at lunch, I decided I needed to eat almost everything in the house.  Not good.  It started off with left over chili verde, which I made into a burrito.  Then followed that by 4 cookies (the bigguns from Costco) then decided as I was sitting at my computer, at home, that it would be a novel idea to also consume the crumbs left on the desk left by the cookies (sad I know).  Finally, on my way out, back to work I topped it off with one of those tilla-moo's cheese thingies.  Needless to say my ass wasn't thanking me for that lunch this morning.  Just ask the hubby who was subjected to the rotten smell coming from my ass all morning apparently while I was asleep (hehehe).  Also funny quick side note while I'm am on the subject of sleeping.  I kept hearing him snoring last night and kept kicking him.  Then I woke up a little, and listened for a sec, and realized it was the dog snoring on the floor next to me.  HAHAHA, I was kicking him for no reason.

On my way back to work I get a call from the hubby telling me he just got stung by a bee.  Uh-Oh, he is allergic to them.  I said you better be prepared to get you ass to either the drugstore and get some benadryl, or the ER.  He says nothing happened yet, his arm was just sore.  Well, I said when your tongue expands to the size of a polish sausage, call for help.  Later on that evening, he was explaining the whole ordeal to me.  He said I was flailing around, trying to "beat it up" (can you imagine, 5'11, 230 pound construction worker guy, arms flying, screaming like a bitch, oh yes I have seen a bee get near him a couple of times.  Freaking hilarious) and it followed him to his car.  I said maybe it was a wasp.  Those things will keep attacking you.  He said it bit him twice.  Well we now know your only allergic to honey bees and not wasps now, good to know.

I went to pick the boy up from latchkey last night, and UGH, they were on the playground (you know I HATE the playground).  As I am passing the first set of swings in search of the kid, I notice to boys, which seem like the were wrestling around.  The one kid runs off and the other is yelling for help that he cant move.  Staring as I'm walking, I notice the Staff kid saying hey stop doing that.  When I got a little closer I noticed that the one kid duct taped the other kid to the swing set.  That little bastard taped that kid up so good the staff kid was having a hard time getting him free, and kept saying the whole time, "stop playing with the tape, that stuff is expensive"  REALLY?  Not hey lets not tape other kids to the swing set, someone might get hurt?  I located my son and was like lets go.  I swear if that had been my kid.....OH HOLY HELL,  They would have got the WRATH!  All I could think to myself was JESUS CHRIST, I am actually paying these people to watch my kids.

Bipolar minion is really reaching these days.  Her son has the chicken pox (he's 15 BTW)  She, I guess has never had them.  Yesterday afternoon, she comes up to me and says I have two bumps, one on my arm and one on my neck. (in grown hair, and zit)  I said as long as their not on your stomach your fine!  Turned and continued to read my book.  I know she is examining everything with a microscope, just so she has an excuse to call in.  She better not FUCK my vacation next weekend (since I have Monday off)  Or I will FIRE her ass, just because.


  1. OMG the description of your husband was funny, I had to wipe tears from my eyes! Well at least on the plus side the staff kid wasn't the one duct tape to the swing set. I would be really worried at that point. Hypochondriac is not to mess with your vacation, I said so!

  2. I've been following you for quite some time and laughing my big fat ass off. You are a riot. Keep posting!!! I check every day to see what shit you're in now. ha ha. Your writing is really entertaining and you can be such a bitch. LOVE IT....LOVE IT! You are fabulous. Thanks a big effin' lot. :)