First off I would like to thank all of my followers. Thank you for leaving all those really nice comments. I am glad you all find my stories funny, and feel free to pass me along to all of your friends (I know shameless plug on my part) And thanks to my 2 co workers for encouraging me to to write all this crap down. It is my one and only form of therapy to keep me somewhat sane. Keep the comments coming, I love to hear your opinions!
OK, now down to the good stuff. I have a plan of action for this mornings post, so it might be a little long. (sorry for those in a hurry) I'm trying something new with a few pictures.
On Friday my hubby went to street vibrations (he was suppose to be working). It's some motorcycle convention thing they have up in Reno every year. I got a text message from his friend that was with him with a picture that says (which I accidentally deleted) hubby got some hair (he's bald by the way) and the bitches are flockin! It was a picture with him (and new hair hat) and a mannequin in a leather thong. Pretty funny stuff. So later I get another picture with him and his hat on with the caption does this "GUY" look familiar? OK so tell me what you think.
It is kind of a freaky resemblance!
So my son thought this was the coolest hat EVER, and tried it on when he got home. I think we found his Halloween Costume!
So in yesterdays post I mentioned the great "how to cook chicken fiasco" that happened on Saturday, which resulted in my mom calling the hubby a Dumb Ass! Well yesterday afternoon he calls me to say he's going to be late and if I could boil the chicken, for chicken tacos later that would be helpful. UM NO, you know what would have been helpful is my suggestion to put the chicken in a crock pot so it would be done and ready to shred when we got home. Like I was trying to explain on Saturday. HUH, MEN, they always gotta make everything so fucking difficult. I didn't do it of course, I was trying to make a point. And also he told me not to over boil it when I said I would do it. Do it yourself now buddy!
Sunday night when my daughter got dropped off by her dad, showed me the interesting collection of stick on tattoos she acquired (the must have went to the pizza place). One on the back of her ankle and one on her arm. Whatever, A little while later she was getting all whinny, and I was like what's wrong? She, I guess tried to put another tattoo on the back of her neck, but got it in some of her hair and it was hurting her. She said can you get this off? I was like um, OK. Alright, these freaking tattoos don't come off easy. You need rubbing alcohol, which of course I don't have. So I tried just hot water, nothing, soap, nothing, peroxide, notta. Then I remembered I had to astringent, and VIOLA. Only trouble was some of it gooed up in her hair so I grabbed the scissors and cut a tiny piece of hair off. I guess I must have left the scissors on the counter (and the boy was in the shower, keep that in mind for later). So the hubby and I decide to watch a little TV in our room and he goes into the bathroom and says did you cut someones hair? I said yeah I cut a piece of the girls hair cause she had tattoo gooed in it. He says wow how much did you cut? I said a tiny little strand. So in the morning I made my way to the bathroom and while I was sitting there, notice that the counter had an awful lot of hair on it. I thought hhhmmmm, maybe this is what he was talking about. It was brown, and short, not the girls (shes blond) THE BOY! I went to wake him up and ask did you cut your hair? He hide under the covers and I hear a small yes. I said where, hoping I didn't see a bald spot, that I didn't notice the night before. He pointed out the area and THANK GOD, he only gave himself a trim! He says well it was to long right there. I say you know, if it's to long I will trim it for you. We don't want you going to school looking like you have parvo.
So in an attempt to start packing and getting things together, the hubby decided to take down part of the trampoline. He took off the net, and the padding. So yes we have a spring exposed, netless, death trap of a new toy in the backyard. They never wanted to jump on it this much when the net was still up. SO I said last night, One at a time and stay in the middle. Do you think they listened? NOOOO, why would they do that. So I hear a SCREAMING MOMMY! I run out and there she is, one leg hooked around the outside bar, in between the springs, hanging halfway on the ground. I got her off it, she only has a bruise and a scrape. But then I have to yell, WHAT DID I JUST SAY? You were both running in circles around the damn thing weren't you? Yep. Then she wasn't paying attention and foot through hole. I swear I need to start pinning post it instructions to their foreheads.
So Bipolar minion has decided she was gonna grow a set of balls with me. HA HA, not gonna happen bitch. First off I am NOT the menopausal minion and will NOT be told what to do, and just take it, then bitch about you behind your back. I am your BOSS, and will make it so YOU do all the errands by yourself today without my help. Menopausal minion has the day off. I will make it so I have more important "boss stuff" to do. I am helping because it's my job and the right thing to do. It is NOT my job to watch you roll your eyes at me when I tell you to DO IT! I know your all pissed, cause the chicken pox arnt happeneing for you, and your still holding out hope that you get them. You son is over them and I think it's time for you to move on. It's not going to happen, get over it! And get back to work! And dont piss me off anymore today, or you will find yourself ALL ALONE!